Scrabbled

19 Casting call

“Mom!!” I screamed, holding my arm, “Jenny, somebody??”

Mother came running out of the house, and Caleb came from next door. Jenny was incredibly upset that we had left her out, but father had made the decision that it would be a mistake to have too many people in on the acting.

“What happened dear?” Mother asked, as I sobbed, holding my arm. I had squirted the tears in in the tree house and I had, just this once, let them put a bit of makeup on so it could be seen to run down my face.

“I fell out of the tree-house! I tripped on the rug and fell out.”

It had been a scary fall, too, and embarrassing, with my skirt riding up over my head as I hit the ground. But the flesh colored braces Dad had gotten for me had helped me break my fall. I was nicely scratched on both palms tho, and it hurt!

“Let’s take you to the hospital, dear. Caleb, go get a blanket.”

Under the cover of the blanket I took the braces off, and then I curled up against Caleb, who was carrying me to the car… still crying loudly in case anyone was close. I was having fun.

“Not so fast, dear!” Mother said as Caleb rounded a corner sharply.

“But Mom, she might be badly hurt,” he said, and I said,

“You are going to give us away!”

He didn’t, tho. He carried me in in the blanket, past the flustered registration clerks, and into the exam room… room three this time. The X-ray tech rolled his machine in and, after a suitable amount of time, rolled it back out again, grinning at me the whole time. Minutes later the doctor came in. “Well, young lady,” he said with a wink, “I’m afraid that you have broken your arm, rather badly. Not quite badly enough to get referred to an orthopedist tho, if you come back and see me in seven weeks. This is obviously a very painful break, so I will give you narcotics, which you can take every time you need them.”

He held up the X-ray and I was very glad that that wasn’t actually my arm on the film. That looked like it hurt.

“What color cast do you want, Bobbi?” Dad said, one the doctor was gone, “We have blue, green…”

“Pink,” I said. “It will help remind me of who I am now. I still live in fear that I will use some wrong grammar or something.”

One thing we hadn’t counted on, but which really helped, was that every single nurse and tech in the hospital insisted on signing my cast, so by the time I left the hospital the cast was covered with signatures. And they had given me my meds (which they had worked up earlier) right there… extremely potent vitamins in a bottle marked ‘vicodin’… so I didn’t have to visit the pharmacy and replace the pills at home. (There was no way Dad was sending me off with narcotics that I didn’t’ need, even for this.)

“We just have time to get you home, and finishing packing for college,“ Mom said. And so I spent my last evening at home sitting on the bed directing the others as they packed for me.

“Why are you putting the dresses and regular bras in Mom?”

“Cover dear. You don’t have to wear them, but seeing the dresses hanging up in your closet will make things seem more normal. Do you have your presents?”

“Yes mother, they are already in the suitcase: your special natural granola for Riverwalk, and a new stuffed animal for Tess.” I looked at my sister, “I don’t need that, Jens,” I said.

She looked appalled, “But…” she looked at Caleb.

“I gave you… Roberta that,” Caleb said, taking the timeworn rabbit gently from Jenny, “and she always had it on her pillow, even at college, so I think you should probably bring it just for cover.”

“Oh, I had no idea.” I said, “Of course I will take it, now that I know you gave it to…” I stopped. There was no way to finish that sentence and not cry.

“Bobbi,” said Jenny, from over at my desk, “Can I have this, please?”

“What is it?” I asked, and she handed it to me reluctantly. It was a hand-drawn card, with a picture of two rabbits on it, holding paws.

I will always love you, wherever you go, it said, with Jennies signature at the bottom. I looked at her.

“I gave it to Roberta when she first went to college,” Jenny said, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Of course you can have it,” I said, handing it to her. “It is yours, not mine.”

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as she cried and flopped down on the bed.

“Are you sure you want to go with me?” I said to Caleb, “I can go by myself. I am a big girl, you know.”

“My very, very big girl,” he said, kissing the top of my forehead, “Let’s get some clothes on you and let’s get down to the train station.”

But of course they had to help me dress. The weather was a little chilly so I decided on the denim dress and a sweatshirt… a fairly light sweatshirt from the college… with Scrabble letters spelling out the school name and, some Latin motto that I could never remember what it meant.

I has always enjoyed the train ride to school, but this ride was very mixed. I was sitting next to Caleb, and holding his hand, and even resting my hand, under his jacket, on his thigh; but I was going toward danger, extreme danger. And while I was gone, Caleb would be working very hard to send me back… back to a life I didn’t want anymore. And my hands hurt!

“Wake up, Bobbi,” Caleb said, a half-hour later. “Our stop is next. You must be really tired, a half hour train ride and you fall asleep.”

I rubbed my eyes in the bright lights from the station. Sure enough, it was the station before the college.

“Those pills must be making you sleepy,” he said, and it took me a second to get it, but then I leaned even more heavily against him, and had him practically carry me off the train.

Luckily my suitcase had wheels on it, or poor Caleb wouldn’t have made it up the hill to the college from the station. “Over there,” I said, having memorized the location from the college map. I had only been to Truscott a couple of times before, walking some girl home. It was a pretty dorm, and had a great view of the valley, “we go in the far door.”

But we didn’t make it as far as the door before girls, who had been lounging on the lawn outside came over, “Bobbi? What did you do?”

I pretended, and it wasn’t hard, to be groggy, and Caleb answered for me, telling them the story of my fall from grace.

“Bobbi?” A girl said, when I opened the door with my key, “Bobbi?!”

It was, obviously, Riverwalk, in her normal state of dress, and she came rushing over to help Caleb with my suitcase, which she opened and started immediately putting things away… an unanticipated blessing as Jenny had not known which dresser was mine. “Help me get undressed, Caleb,” I said, and he sat me down and, not unwillingly, helped me get my shirt and bra off. I noticed Riverwalk watching and, when he helped me with my bra, grinning hugely.

He had just done that when the door opened and another girl rushed in, followed by two or three others, “Bobbi?! Whatever happened?”

“Hey,” I said, laying back for Caleb to help me off with my skirt, “I fell out of my treehouse…” I giggled. This was fun.

“Hi,” Caleb said, tucking me in and standing up, “I’m Caleb.”

It was a good thing I wasn’t actually feeling as bad as I was pretending, or all of these girls would have driven me crazy with their chatter. Everyone met Caleb, and he met everyone. I couldn’t tell if he was overwhelmed or if he was enjoying himself.

“I have to pee,” I said, and two girls rushed over to my closet to get me a robe and help me.

The bathroom was a madhouse. Girls, and a few boys, all over the place. The design made it seem even more crowded. It had a wall of shower stalls, a wall of toilet stalls (and one lonely urinal), two lines of sinks in the middle of the room, and one huge long mirror on one wall, with a shelf at waist height with dozens of chairs. A couple girls were sitting at the chairs fussing with their makeup.

The girls walked me over to the stalls (perhaps I carried this ‘drugged’ thing too far) and one of them helped me in. “I’m OK,” I said, and she reluctantly left me to sit in peace… as much peace as one could have with this din, and four girls waiting just outside my stall saying, “Are you OK,” every several seconds. I wiped, looked down at my panties, and I realized I was in trouble.

“Jill,” I said, and she poked her head in, “I forgot my pads, could you go get me one?”

“Does anyone have a pad?” she said, instead, and in seconds was handing me one.

“Thanks,” I said, blushing furiously, attaching the pad, and pulling my panties back up. She heard me stand up and came into help me with the robe. “Thanks,” I said again, although I would much rather have done it myself.

We got back to the room without trouble, after I dully washed my hands…or, hand. There was some sanitizer there which they had me use on my left hand. Caleb helped me back into bed, with several girls watching him critically, and then said, “Well, maybe I should go now.”

“Don’t go,” I said. I didn’t want him to leave me alone with all of these girls.

“Yes, Caleb, don’t go,” River said. ”Take a train back in the morning.“

Caleb looked at me, “You want me to stay?” he asked.

I pulled back the covers and nodded my head. “OK,” he said to the room at large, “but she really needs to get some sleep.”

Suddenly the girls, the girls that didn’t live here, all got solicitous and piled out of the room. River and Tess, to spare Caleb (the last time they would do that, I was sure) went and changed in their closets (River even putting on a pair of pajamas that I was sure hadn’t seen use in months). Caleb stripped down to his briefs while they were changing and crawled in with me.

The bed was very small, and so we were forced to spoon together to avoid falling out. I ached for him, and could tell he wanted me. But, although our entire bodies were touching, his front to my back, he curled his arms up in front of him and held very still. So I got to spend the first night in bed with my husband pretending I had a broken arm, with a cast, pretending I was on drugs, with two other girls who I was sure were listening actively; all of us hoping he would do something improper. While he, the gallant moron, just cuddled up against me and went to sleep!

Whatonearthhappened.com

18 It Started?

“Morning Bobbi,” Jenny said, and I opened my eyes. I guess she decided to take a day partially off, as she had her pajama top on this time… although only panties below that.

“Morning Jens. Practice again?”

“Yeah, can you drive me?”

“Sure.”

We ate breakfast alone. Mom was volunteering and Dad was at work. I decided to try my white skirt today, along with a light green top. “Jenny?” I called, as I brushed my hair, “Can I wear this white bra with the green top?”

She came in, brushing her own hair and still in her bra and panties, “Try it on so I can see,” she said. Then, “Yeah, that works. You can see it a little bit, but not bad.”

“I wish I didn’t have to wear a bra,” I said, “It is so hot outside, and it just makes me sweat.”

She laughed, “We all wish that, Bobbi.”

I took the script to practice again, and stopped at the station (with that wiered type) again to grab myself a Cherry Coke. I would have to quit this habit, I said to myself, or I would start getting fat.

I sat down and started working on my lines, which I already knew pretty well. I would be so up on my lines by the time I got to school that I would be able to concentrate completely on acting. But I hadn’t been sitting there ten minutes when I suddenly felt wet. Had I peed myself? This girls anatomy was so stupid finicky.

Suddenly I realized what had happened and, packing my script carefully but quickly into the backpack I headed off to the girls room. One of the mothers was there this time, but I didn’t care and went quickly into a stall. “Are you OK, dear?” The mother said from just outside the door. I had probably looked a bit panicked.

“Bad timing,” I said, and she chuckled.

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I got it,” I said, hoping it was true.

There wasn’t much blood, for which I was profoundly grateful, so I wiped it up, put one of the pads on, the one Jenny had said I should use first. But when I got up I realized that… I scrunched my panties around some… this felt weird, having that in there.

I tried my best to walk out casually, but the mother, sitting across the room, still grinned at me. And I hadn’t sat there for more than five more minutes before the pain hit. It was horrid! How did girls stand this? The mother came over.

“Very bad timing, eh?” She asked, handing me a small bottle. Advil. “Usually the cramps start first.”

“Not for me,” I said, which Jenny had told me was true, “I tend to get a double whammy. But luckily it tends to be over quickly.”

“Well, that’s good anyway,” she said as I took the pills.

“Thanks,” I said, handing back the bottle.

“Happens to us all,” she said, walking away.

Not all of us, I thought. Only half of us. Only girls, like I was now.

“Hey Bobbi,” Jennifer said.

“Hey Jens,” I said, and she must have seen the look on my face.

“It started?” she whispered? “Here?”

I nodded, and we went to the car.

“Great, now I will probably start,” she said, “And I never did get to go swimming with Suzy.”

“Do you want to go today?” I asked, “I could study alone.”

“Really? You wouldn’t mind?” She said, excited.

“No.”

“Just a sec,” she said, and dashed off, and then dash back.“Oh, thanks Bobbi. Can you take me home for my suit and then…”

“Yes,” I said.

So it was that, an hour later, I had undressed, had a snack, and was sitting in the living room, alone in the house, staring at a pile of books. Alone. Regardless of everyone, and how wonderful they were I was alone. That first day I was desperate to change back. Today I was desperate not to. But either way I had to, and Caleb was working his hardest to get me to. I hoped in my heart of hearts that it wasn’t because he wanted, really wanted, his Roberta instead of me.

“Bobbi?”

“Caleb!” I jumped up and ran and hugged him, “You’re home?” I just loved the way he looked in his work clothes. He was still all gross and sweaty, so he must have come straight here.

“Yes. The lady I was working for got a call and had to go out of town for a couple of days. Hey, I brought the notebook, so we can go over the various possibilities.”

“Oh, OK,” I said, and we sat down together on the couch.

“The guys on the web have been really helpful, and I think we have narrowed the possibilities down somewhat. There are still some votes for some of the others, but these are the main candidates:

First of all, Hypnosis. I really like this, for obvious reasons. It would mean that you are really you… you do want to be you, don’t you?

“Oh, yes. That is, I don’t want to be Roberta, I want to be this me.”

“Well,” he said, grinning, “I like this me too… not that I didn’t like your old me. But this me is engaged to me, and is…” he waved his hand at me, grinning, and I grinned back.

Next?“ I asked. I was enjoying this so far.

“The next one is… more interesting. No one believes the time travel idea, it has far too many holes. Well, a couple of people are still voting for it, but basically it is dead. However someone proposed a variant on it that I found interesting, and a lot of people like. It is called a ‘time echo’. What if someone was able, not to mess with time itself, but mess with your memory of time? What if they were able to send a message bouncing back nineteen years and then back to your brain, with a kind of ‘what if’. Then you would wake up remembering a time change that never happened.”

“And, would it be permanent or temporary?”

“We have no way of knowing.”

“Well, I like that one too. Either way I end up with you.” I said, leaning up against him and hugging his arm.

“I would like it too, but it is way too powerful, and we are afraid it is what the government is thinking happened. It has all the same problems, with the ability to turn people into doctors or spies. Unless the government has already learned how to do it, they will be particularly interested in everyone it happened to.”

I shuddered and clung to him, feeling cold. “What else?”

“Well, the next one is called inter-dimensional mind transplantation… hey, it’s your mom and some friends.”

“What?” I said, panicking, and raced up the stairs, reaching the top just as I heard the door open.

“Did I make it?” I asked Caleb, who came up in a more leisurely fashion.

“Well, the lady right behind your mother was my mother, and she was grinning up a storm when she came in. But worse things happen in war,” he said, kissing me roundly.

“Say,” he said, “I think you are having a bit of a feminine problem…”

“Oh, I totally forgot!” I said and, grabbing a robe, raced off to the bathroom. He came in a minute later with my comforter. “Oh, don’t tell me I got blood on that!” I said. “I hope the couch downstairs is OK.”

“I’ll go see if I can see,” he said, leaving me to my washing out. This girl stuff was a real, real, real pain! It was a full twenty minutes before he came back.

“All clear,” he said. “I had to wait around for a while, since there was a lady sitting right there. Wearing a white dress, too,” he added, giggling. “That would have been hard to explain.”

“It isn’t funny!” I hissed at him. He looked shocked, then, mumbling something about some research, he left. Idiot boy.

BobbiBunns: Come on Caleb, answer me.

CTreckyJones: Is it safe?

BobbiBunns:It wasn’t funny

CTreckyJones:No, I’m sorry. I’m sure it is hard for you, your first time

BobbiBunns:And thinking of it happening every month from now on…

CTreckyJones:yes, every month that you are not pregnant

BobbiBunns:R U volunteering? I’m ready

CTreckyJones:We can’t. It’s not safe. If I take you home now, they will suspect something.

BobbiBunns:But we will be married!

CTreckyJones:Most married girls don’t drop out of school just before the begining of a semester

He was right, the idiot, but that didn’t make me feel better.

CTreckyJones:Hey, come on over to the site… ‘whatonearthhappened.com’

“He’s scared, love,” mother said. We were sitting in my room after my shower, a shower with almost as many tears as water from the shower. I was flopped on my bed naked, and Mom was sitting next to me stroking my head
“Scared?” I asked, hiccuping. I hated it when I hiccuped after crying.
“He’s afraid he is going to lose you. In fact, he has to lose you. We talked after you went upstairs. The only way he can see to save you is to send you back. He figures if he can make it so none of thie ever happened, then you will be safe.”
“But I don’t want to be safe, I want to be with him,” I cried.
“For someone who was a boy a few days ago, you are awfully attatched to this boy,” she said.
“Even there he was by best freind,” I said, “and I am a girl now! I told you that, why don’t you beleive me? I am a girl now, I feel things like a girl. Daddy is right, even my brain is different, not just my ovaries and stuff. It is like I see the world completley differently. And when I see Caleb, what I see is a boy I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Do you want to sleep with him?” She asked, bluntly.
“Yes and no.” I said, sitting up an wrapping my arms around my knees. “I don’t sit up at night dreaming about his naked body or anything. But I think about him laying with me, and putting his arms around me, and both of us falling asleep together.”
She smiled, gently, “You are right, my darling, you are a girl. Your father, love him, can hardly see me naked without wanting to throw me on the bed and make ourselves a new baby. But we girls, we like the hugs, and the carresses, and just being there with them.”
“And now you have to be a big girl for him.” She got up and pulled back my sheets, and I put on some panties, crawled in and let her cover me and kiss me. “He is trying to be brave, and do the manly thing, and you will have to convince him that ‘one flesh’ implies going through difficult and dangerous times together, not just protecting. Get him in bed as soon as you can, dear.”
“What?” Hardly the advice I expected from my mother.
“He’ll be less inclined to be rational once you’re making babies together. Make it seem like his idea, but get him in bed. I must say you have been doing well with that. I don’t know where you got the courage to come to breakfast topless. I was something I always wanted to do for your father when we first got married. He was always asking me to but I never could brazen it out, except a couple times on our honeymoon, and that was in a hotel room, which doesn’t really count.”
“Jenny’s trying too,” I said.
“Yes, she wants to be big like you, but she’s a coward like me.” Mom said, ruefully.
“You could try again, Mom. Dad would like it.”
“That he would,” she said, grinning, “Perhaps when you are at school and Caleb isn’t so likely to come over I will try it again. Goodnight, dear.”
“Goodnight, Mom.” I said, and she kissed me again, “Sleep well.”
—
“Morning Bobbi!” Jenny said, leaping onto my bed.
“Good morning,” I said, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom, “what are you up to?”
“Well, after breakfast I have practice. Can you take me again?”
“Sure. You going to try again this morning?” I asked, noting that she had on only boxers. I dropped my panties to pee as she blushed, and said,
“Yep. I’m going to sit on the other side of the table today. That way if Caleb comes in, well, it will be too late to run away.”
I laughed as I got into the shower and she brushed her teeth. I knew that Caleb had to work early this morning, and wouldn’t be coming over, but I wouldn’t spoil this for anything. And it was quite a sight, watching her staring at the doors every few seconds, until, about halfway through the meal, she must have decided he wouldn’t come and relaxed. Mother and I had fun winking at each other whenever she wasn’t looking.
After breakfast I ran upstairs and got dressed. I decided on a pink blouse and a dark blue skirt. Jenny was wearing her uniform again, of course. It must make it easy to get dressed, never having to choose. I was still brushing my hair when I ran out to the car. I kept forgettting how long it took. Jenny had fun trying to braid it while I drove.
The music hall, ironically, wasn’t a good place to work on my alto, so instead I brought along the script, and started working on my lines for the play. The less I had to do in that line once I got to college, the more I could work on other things. I glanced around several times, but Jervis didn’t show up, just a couple of mothers sitting in a corner, one of them working on her knitting.
Jenny and Suzy showed up arm in arm, just as I emerged from the bathroom for the second time. Boy, girls have to pee a lot! “Doing better girls?” I asked them.
“Oh, Bobbi,” Suzy said, apologetically, “I’m so sorry I was rude to you last time.”
“No problem. Where’s your brother?”
“Oh, he had to go back to school early. It was a bummer. He got a call on Friday right after rehersal, talked for a few minutes on the phone, and then took off. Mom was most upset. He’s in some special program, and they needed him.”
“So, can I drive you home then?”
“Oh, would you? That would be great. Mom told me to call her when we got done, but she really is busy…”
“No problem,” I said, “hop in.”
So, the girl hopped, and I drove. Too bad about her brother. I was glad I wasn’t part of a program like that, having to miss part of break. Not that I cared about him, anymore obviously. But still.
“Did you hear about that boy getting arrested?” The girl asked me, from where the two were sitting together.
“Bobbi was at church when it happened!” Jenny said, “She and Caleb.”
“Who’s Caleb?” Suzy asked, “Her boyfriend?”
“No, silly, her fee-ahn-say, or, as my dad says, her ‘husband’.”
“You’re married?” Suzy said, “I didn’t know that. Since when?”
“Since Friday night,” I said, “ and we are, techinically, engaged.”
“So did you see them take the boy,” she asked, coming back to her topic.
“No, I was in the girls room at the time. I came out just after they had taken him, but while everyone was still screaming and yelling.”
“Did they beat him up? I heard they beat him up!”
“I didn’t hear anything about that,” I said, “I just heard that they took him away.”
“I heard they beat him up,” Suzy said, “all bloody, right on the church steps.”
“There’s my house,” she added, “do you want to come over Jenny?”
“Not… not today Suzy,” Jenny said, sounding a bit disappointed, “I have to help around the house.”
“Oh, well, sorry. Call me if you can come later. We can still swim, you know, our pool is heated.”
“Oh, OK,” Jenny said.
“Well, glad you made up with her,” I said.
“Oh, yeah, she’s great.”
“What program is her brother in?” I asked.
“She doesn’t know. Whenever she asks she says her brother gets all stupid and says, ‘I can’t tell you. National security.’”
My heart beat rapidly, but I didn’t say anything.
“Are you ready to practice, dear?” Mother said when I got home. She was wearing a light chiffon dress, and still sweating. We didn’t use the airconditiong much even at the height of summer. She didn’t have any volunteer work this morning, one of the few mornings in the month she didn’t.
“Yes,” I said, “I need to get this right. ”
An hour later I was almost crying. Alto was hard! Bass was easy compared to this. I only had two songs I could so so far, and they were both easy.
“You are getting tired, dear,” Mother said, “get a drink and then go work on something else.”
I got a drink and then Jenny and I went upstairs to my room. I had completely forgotten to get undressed earlier, even to take the bra off, but I did it now, and sat down at the computer. “Quiz me on my roomates while I get on facebook,” I said to Jenny. “We’ll do two things at once.”
“OK, just a second,” she said, and ran off and came quickly back, in her panties. “I figure if I practice now breakfast will be easier,” she said, and I laughed and agreed.
“What are your roomates names?” She asked me.
“Tess and Riverwalk,” I said.
“And what are they like?” She asked, which I thought a bit vague, but I tried to repeat what everyone had told me and what I had learned, “Riverwalk is a junior. She is tall, blackhaired, flat-chested. She hates makeup and everythign like that like I do. She sleeps with every boy in school and volunteers for the life-drawing classes. She is incredibly modern, and thinks that marriage is sexist and oppressive… altho she is still thrilled whenever any of her freinds get engaged, and most of us think that she would love to have some boy propose. She loves art, and wears all sorts of funky artsy clothes when she wears clothes at all. We all wonder if her name is Indian, or named after the Riverwalk in Texas, but she won’t tell us. ”She’s on the pill and hardly ever has periods.“
She drove Roberta crazy at first because she never wears clothes in the dorm and played loud music. But she got used to her dress code, and Riverwalk started using an I-pod for her music, which was all that weird natural stuff and not that bad anyway. Oh, and she likes natural foods.“
“Good. And Tess?”
“Tess is tall too, but not at all flat chested, indeed is almost chunky. She has a boyfriend, who is over a lot, and Roberta had a hard time with that at first, but eventually she learned to ignore them, and the boyfriend is nice anyway, and always turns his back when she changed, unlike some of riverwalks boys who like to stare and make comments. She is an accounting major, and her boyfriend is a mathematician, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they do it like bunnies she says you could hardly notice them… at least when he is there. Roberta says that when the boyfriend, whose name is Stan, is gone, then Tess really likes to chat, and Roberta has a hard time studying.
She wears T-shirts and pants alot, and likes to make fun of Roberta and Riverwalk for their dress.“
“They’re both nice girls, tho, and Roberta really liked them. Oh, and Tess eats too much and is always leaving candy around, which her boyfriend brings her, and he is chunky too.”
“Good,” Jenny said, “now, some other girls. Who is Jill…?”
We had been studying for a good two hours, and I had done a good bit of ‘chatting’ in the meantime, when a voice from the door said, “Hey, girls, your mom says…” and Jenny screamed and flipped over on the bed.
“Your mom says,” he continued, grinning, as I threw Jenny a shirt, which she wiggled into, her eyes facing the bed, “that since I am here now we should go downstairs and sing some more.”
“OK,” I said, “I’m sure Jenny will be down in a minute.” I took his arm and, his eyes very busy, we went downstairs.
This rehearsal went much better. Between Caleb’s tenor and Jennies (embarrassed) soprano I was able to find my alto much more easily. But, back in my room with just Caleb, he was very upset by what I told him about Jervis.
“And you say you two talked for over an hour?” He asked, “and he saw you try to figure out which restroom to go into?” He flopped back onto the bed, groaning. “That’s terrible.”
I lay down next to him, my hand on his arm, “But he didn’t even know about the experiment then,” I said. “And none of the others turned from a boy into a girl, so he won’t think anything of that.”
“I hope so,” he said, turning to kiss me. I thought for a second that my mom would get her wish, but he got up again with a jerk, “I have just got to figure out how to fix this, before they come to get you and your family,” he said. “I’m going to go do some more research. Call me when you are ready to practice again.”
I flopped back on the bed. It was all very easy for Mother to say to get him to bed, and I knew I could do it. But… I was scared myself. And I knew I had a duty to Roberta, and, for that matter, to her family, whose daughter I wasn’t, however much they had taken me in.
“I saw Caleb leave,” Jennys voice said from the door, having resumed her earlier dress code, “do you want to study some more?”
“Sure Jen’s,” I said, “let’s go over the play. I’m sick about learning about girls.”
But as I worked through my part, I started out the window toward his window. Out the window toward another window. The window that I wanted to be behind.

“What happened?” I asked, once we were in the parking lot, where his parents were waiting by their car.
“We need to go to your house, I need to talk to your Dad.”
“He won’t be there, they will still be at church.“
“I, I need to tell my parents,” he said. “I know your Dad didn’t want me to…”
“It’s OK,” I said, “He trusts you. Else he wouldn’t have given me to you.”
Caleb lit up, and we got in the car.
“Caleb?” His mother said, “What is going on? First the police come and take that poor young man. And then you practically drag us out of church before the potluck supper and all. And I left my dishes there and everything.”
“We can go back in a minute, Mom. I just need to talk to you and Dad. Dad, pull over at the park, will you? That will be a good place to talk, if there is anywhere safe.”
“Very well.”
“Caleb,” I said, “I am going to take a walk while you tell them.”
“OK.” He said, and I could see the confusion in his eyes.
“It… I’m scared Caleb,” I said.
“I know,” he said, patting my arm as he led his parents away to a picnic table. But he didn’t know. It wasn’t the police I was scared of right now, but a middle aged couple with a son I loved. A son who was going to tell his parents that he was engaged to a girl who thought she had been a boy, and who was a wanted fugitive. I cried, freely, as I walked. It took a long time, I had time for three laps around the park and two visits to the restroom to wash my face before I saw them getting up, and Caleb jogging over toward me.
“I’m so glad I told them,” he said. “They are going to be so helpful. It would have been incredibly awkward, but now we can do things at my house too, like voice training, and we won’t have to watch what we say. Have you been crying?” He asked, the imbecile.
“How… what do they think about me?” I asked.
“About you?” He said. “Why they love… oh, you mean… oh, good grief. I told them all about that what you said at dinner, about how you were a girl now, and committed to it. They know it will be hard for you but… they love you. Mom cried about Roberta, of course, but they love you, and will love you more each day.”
I cried again. And had to go to the bathroom again, but I felt much better. My circle of support was getting wider, and a relationship I had prized back in my world was established here as well.
“But Caleb,” I said, outside the bathroom, you never told me what happened back at the church.“
“Three men in suits showed up, looking for this boy, a boyfriend of one of our girls. And they just took him. The pastor and one of the men of the church, a lawyer, tried to get them to say where he was being taken and why, but they just said, ”National Security,’ flashed their badges, and left. The girl had hysterics… well, you saw that… and the men were very upset, including the pastor. I have never seen him angry like that.“
We arrived back at the church in time for the end of the lunch line, and I tried my best to be interested in the food, but I was still picking at it, when the pastor stood up and said, “The other elders and I have discussed it, and we would like to hold an emergency men’s meeting now. If all of the men would come to the junior high room, please.”
I was a little startled when Caleb got up, but even more startled when boys as young as thirteen went with them. “It’s our tradition, dear,” a woman I vaguely knew sitting accross from me said, “When boys turn thirteen they can go to the men’s meetings, and most do.”
We women at in silence for a while, and then got up and cleared things away. It seemed a long time before the men came trooping back.
“The men have met,” the pastor said, “and we are all agreed. As a church we are instructing our members not to participate with the Federal Government during this investigation. What happened this morning was inexcusable. We have found out by a call to a freind of the family of the young man, that he is the brother of a girl who was at the college where the investigation is being held. They seized the rest of the family, except for one boy who happened to be with a neighbor at the time, and is now in hiding. We are called on to obey the government in all of it’s lawful activities, but this government is out of control, these activities are not lawful. So far we have heard of two hundred people being taken into custody, two hundred innocent civilians whose only ‘crime’ is having their child or sibling foolishly participate in some college experiment.”
It was a quiet and sober group that filed out of the assembly hall, even the children catching the vibes from their parents.
But it was a noisy one that met in my living room. “I am not sending her back there!” Caleb said, “It is too dangerous!”
“You have to!” Father said, pacing back and forth, “It is too dangerous not to. They must know that they haven’t gotten all of the subjects. People are panicking over this, and that is what they will be looking for… students not coming back. Today was a good thing. Horrible for that family, dont’ get me wrong, but a good thing for Bobbi. We now have help all over the town. It makes my job much easier. I was afraid I was going to have to break some laws… but one of our doctors goes to your church, and an X-ray tech, and we will get the whole thing set up.”
“What whole thing?”
“Bobbi is going to have an accident. She is going to fall out of her treehouse onto her arm. We will rush her… you will rush her to our emergency room, where the doctor will have an X-ray made, and I will splint the arm, and the doctor will give her some heavy drugs.”
We all stared at him for a minute, and then Caleb’s father began to chuckle. “I don’t get it,” Jenny said.
“Think about it,” his father said, “She has just gotten engaged, has broken her arm, and is on narcotics. Of course she is not acting herself! Everybody will be so busy expressing congratulations and sympathy and signing her cast, that they won’t have a chance to see how differently she is behaving. And besides, think about it. Bev and I didn’t notice… or rather, we did when Caleb was acting all strangely, but we put it down to lots of other things… that Bobbi had told him that she been a boy before was not even one of the possibilities we discussed. And then when Caleb announced they were engaged, well, that just ‘explained’ everything; all of his awkwardness and blushings were suddenly ‘explained’.”
“This will help on the internet, too,” Caleb said, “It was a popular subject before, but now it will go viral. And since I have a boy who was taken from my own church, I can express all the interest I want without it seeming weird. Bobbi and Jenny can too.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, “I just want to go and hide in a corner.”
Mother came over and hugged me, and Father said, “Caleb?”
“I still dont’ like it, but I guess we don’t have a choice. It is that or have all of you go on the run. I hadn’t really thought about you all much before, but I was just thinking that, even if Bobbi and I could go hide somewhere, they would still come after you.”
“What do they want from us anyway?” Jenny asked.
“Well, that’s easy enough,” Caleb said, “the same things we have in our notebook. They want to find out exactly what happened, so they can work on being able to do it themselves.”
“But why? What good does it do except make it hard on everybody? I mean, I love Bobbi, but she would probably rather be Robert anyway, and Roberta is gone…” Now Jenny was crying too, and Mrs Jones had to hold her.
“Well, that part is simple, I’m afraid,” Caleb said. “Just look at what happened with Bobbi. Imagine they could do that to anyone. She has a knowledge of carpentry that our Bobbi never had. Imagine they could take a soldier and give them the knowldge of weapons, or of being a doctor, or they could just create a nuculear physicists. Let alone stuff like spies.”
“Bobbi knows carpentry now?” Mrs Jones asked.
“Better than me, Mom,” Caleb said, which I thought a bit of an exageration.
“Oh, dear. I didn’t know that.”
“No one said anything after that, and the Jones’s got up to leave. I went over to Caleb, ”I’m going to go take my shower now, you want to come watch?“ I asked.
‘No, thanks tho,” he said, his voice flat, and I fled up the stairs.