78 Pleasant Memories
“What do you mean, ‘she’s not coming’?”
I was in the dining room, putting away some of Grandma’s dishes while everybody else was getting ready to go out to a movie, when I heard her raise her voice in the kitchen.
“She’s grounded, Mom,” my mother answered, “and that’s for the entire weekend.”
“Why?! Why are you punishing me? I want to take my family out to a movie, and you’re saying that my eldest grandchild cannot come?”
“It’s not…” Mom protested. Then she sighed in exasperation. “Look, Mom, this is a discipline issue, and it is between Art, Marsha, and me.”
“But I’m affected.”
“Somebody else is always going to be affected, Mom!”
“So why can’t you make it start tomorrow morning, Miriam? What is so serious that she can’t just come to see a movie with us?”
At that point, I had finished putting away the dishes, and left the dining room by the other door; I really didn’t want to listen to Mom and Grandma arguing. Mom wasn’t going to give in, and I can’t say that I really cared all that much. Sure, I really did want to see Princess and the Frog, as I’d heard really good things about it; but I could probably persuade some of my friends to go with me back at school.
Of course, Grandma wasn’t the only one angry: Tina had been outraged on my behalf when I told her why I was grounded.
“You’re being punished for telling the truth? That’s not fair!” she’d whispered as we cleared the dishes after lunch.
“Yeah, but I don’t think I want them to believe the truth, and anyway, I don’t think they’d believe me at this point, so telling the truth is sort of lying, here.”
“What if I told them that I believed you?”
“Then I’d just be in even more trouble for getting you to go along with the ‘hoax’ after they had specifically told me to drop it,” I’d pointed out. “At this point, the easiest thing to do is to leave things alone.”
She hadn’t liked it, and now, when everybody was getting ready to go out, she seemed to be feeling guilty about leaving me behind. “Marsh,” she said, while putting on her coat, “do you want me to stay with you? Maybe we can go to the movie together another time.”
I just hugged her and laughed. “I’ll be fine,” I told her. “Really. Go have a good time. I want to look over the music for Sweeney Todd, and I don’t think anyone is going to enjoy hearing me sing right now.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve got a beautiful voice!”
I lowered my voice to reply. “Marsha had a beautiful voice. I haven’t really even tried singing for real since… since I wound up in her body. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but it probably won’t sound much like what the family expects from her. Besides, this music is kind of hard. I’m going to be hitting a bunch of wrong notes and bad rhythm, and stuff.”
“You want me to coach you?”
I smiled. “Another time. Thanks for the offer.”
“OK,” she said, finally accepting that I meant it.
Mom even came over to me before she walked out, and said, “Marsh, I do hope you understand…”
“I do, Mom,” I assured her. “Have a great time.”
I breathed a sigh of relief when the door finally closed behind them. I really did need ‘alone time’ just now; with the family around, it was impossible simply to sit and think for any length of time without interruptions, except at night. Talking things over with Tina had led only to more questions; what I needed was answers. I needed to understand what was happening with my memory.
While heading back up the guest room for my iPod and Sweeny Todd sheet music, I tried to search my memory for anything that would have to be a ‘Marsha’ memory. I think my biggest fear would be remembering making out with her longtime boyfriend, Dirk. The very idea made me shudder.
But try as I might, I couldn’t positively identify any memories as specifically from Marsha. No memory of her dates, or wearing dresses before midterm break, or anything that only a girl would remember. But did that mean that I didn’t really have any of Marsha’s memories? Or just that I didn’t know what to try to remember? How could I know if I was remembering a memory that I don’t remember remembering before I changed?
Eventually, I gave up and turned to the music. I’d been listening to the recording for a while, so I ventured, Mrs. Lovett’s By The Sea. I had no illusions that – even with Marsha’s vocal cords – I had any shot at one of the leads, but I do like singing Sondheim, and even my usual spot in the chorus would be a lot of fun.
I couldn’t tell if I was doing justice to the song. It’s one of the easiest in the show, so it didn’t me all that long to learn it – or at least well enough to sing it on pitch; projecting, the way a lead would, was another matter. There were real differences in the way my diaphragm felt when I tried for support. If my sewing experience was any hint, I was going to need a lot of coaching to unlock the potential my body was supposed to have. That would have to wait until winter break, I figured.
My next attempt was Green Finch and Linnet Bird, Johanna’s main song. It’s a bit trickier, melodically and, to my surprise, too high for my new voice. So either Marsha – or rather, I – was a mezzo, or I just didn’t know how to coax those high notes out. It didn’t really matter; there’s plenty of work for mezzos in the chorus, but by this point my throat was starting to get a bit sore from the straining, and I decided to stop.
I had one more thing I wanted to do. Something I needed privacy for much more than either puzzling through my memories or experimenting with my voice. Something that harkened back to that conversation I had had with Nikki in the costume room.
I remember her casually picking out costumes and handing them to me, talking as she went; talking about the show, the costumes, things she and Alvin had planned – almost everything but the delicate subject she had intimated we would be discussing. Finally, I’d felt the need to broach it myself.
“Um, Nikki…”
She didn’t say anything, just stopped talking and looked at me, waiting for me to go on.
“You said that we were going to talk about…” I’d paused again, hoping she would interrupt. “I mean, you said we needed to have a private chat…”
She’d just kept looking at me, and I’d finally realized she was going to make me say it. So I took a breath. “I mean, you laughed when I said that I thought… um… female orgasm wasn’t all that special.”
She’d taken the clothing out of my hands and made me sit down.
“You sure you were a boy? You seem really uncomfortable with the subject. I thought boys liked to talk about sex.” She was smiling, but it had really felt like a bit of a dig.
“It’s just… I mean, it’s one thing to talk about sex with other guys, as a guy. You know, if you’re…” I’d sighed uncomfortably. “… if you and your girlfriend are… getting it on… but we didn’t actually go into details. You know…?”
“I know. Alvin and I have discussed this. Well, Marsh, girls do talk about sex in a bit more detail, I think. But the answer you are looking for, I think, is that it should be every bit as pleasurable for a girl as it is for a boy.”
“But then…” I was confused. I was so sure that I had followed her instructions, and yet I hadn’t felt anything particularly great.
“But it’s usually a lot harder for a girl to climax than it is for a boy. On the other hand, we can, or at least some of us can, achieve multiple climaxes in a row.”
“Well, that sounds pretty good.”
“Mm hmm. It just takes practice.”
My face must have fallen at that point, because she’d grinned at me, and added, “There is a shortcut, you know.” I’d perked up, eager to learn this ‘shortcut.’”
“Have you ever heard of a vibrator?” she asked me.
I was back to confused. “You mean, like for sore muscles?”
Her laughter was not mean, but it had been pretty obvious that I’d said something stupid. “Oh, Marsh, I keep forgetting how naïve you can be. I guess a lot of boys don’t know too much about them, but the main – or at least a main – purpose of vibrators is to aid in female masturbation.”
“Oh.” I was really glad that nobody else had been around, because I was horribly embarrassed, and that was just talking with Nikki. “So, I need to buy… a vibrator? I’m not sure I can afford–”
“Well first of all, you might already have one. You don’t – or rather, I should say, Marsha didn’t – have a boyfriend, so there’s a pretty good chance she owned one.”
“Well, how do you know she even… you know…”
“Masturbated? Certainly, there’s a chance she didn’t, but… I think most girls do. It’s harmless and pleasurable, so why not?”
“Oh…” I had stammered, “I guess I’ll just have to search my room. Maybe she hid it in the closet or under some clothes or something.”
“Why don’t you do that?”
So when I got back to my room, I checked my dresser and sewing basket without success, and then realized that I couldn’t see what was on the shelf in the closet, since it was so far above my head. By standing on my desk chair and rooting around in the back, I found my prize. Now it was just a question of finding the right time to try it.
That time had finally come. So it was with a combination of embarrassment and eagerness that I went back upstairs. According to the clock, the family couldn’t possibly be back in less than an hour, assuming that they came right home as soon as the movie was over; chances are, they would go out for ice cream or something.
There was no mirror in our bedroom, so I looked at myself in the one in the bathroom, once again adjusting my clothing to simulate a skimpy skirt and blouse. It didn’t seem to be having quite the same impact on me that it had, previously, although I wasn’t sure if that was due to the circumstances, or just the repetition. I might really have to see if I could somehow justify buying a sexy outfit for real.
I might not have been as turned on as I’d hope, but I was still feeling something, so I went into the bedroom and closed the door. Even though I was alone in the house, having the door closed still felt more private. Then I took off all my clothing and got into bed.
Nikki had suggested a lot of exploration all up and down my body with this new toy, if only to get a feel for how it worked. I probably spent a good half hour stimulating everything from my shoulders to my breasts, to my calves. It was definitely a nice feeling. Finally, I felt that I was ready for the ‘main event.’ I took a deep breath and applied it between my legs. The sensation was a lot stronger than I had expected, and I pulled it away.
I had to experiment a bit with more and less pressure, and different positions, but it started to feel really… nice. The feeling got more and more intense and then suddenly, it hit and I actually climaxed – and nearly fell off the bed in surprise. I suppose I should have expected it, but I hadn’t. Somehow I hadn’t really believed that it was going to happen. And… I was aware that I had actually cried out right at that moment. I was very glad that nobody else was in the house.
But… I was still alone, and I remembered that girls don’t need the recovery time that boys do, so I tried again. Um… and again. As Nikki had said, it was pleasurable, and it didn’t hurt anybody, so why not?
I guess I might have overdone it, just a bit. I was rapidly approaching yet another climax, when I suddenly heard the door open downstairs. I felt the orgasm hit me, and in a panic, forced my mouth shut so that I wouldn’t cry out.
It was very uncomfortable, then, when I heard Tina call me. “Marsh? We brought you some ice cream!”
I was seriously out of breath. I was naked. I was still in the midst of a fairly intense orgasm. And my sister was on her way up to the room!
I managed to get the vibrator turned off, rolled off the bed, and pulled the cover after me. When Tina opened the door, which I had foolishly neglected to lock, I was panting on the floor, but unfortunately not hidden by the bed. She stared at me.
“Marsh, what are you doing?”
“I…” I gasped, “I… I just…”
Then I saw the box that the vibrator had come in, sitting out on the floor. Tina followed my eyes and spotted it, too. My sister is no dummy, and apparently knew a bit more about vibrators than I had, because she quickly closed the door and starting laughing.
I stared at her in outrage, or tried so. I tried to catch my breath, but I couldn’t, because even as the climax left me it was replaced by laughter. I think if Tina had ever caught me like this when I was boy, I would have been really upset, but somehow… somehow…
Well, let’s just say that I am glad to have found something to laugh about because I was a girl.
Ahh…Um. I have a hard time watching TV situation comedies. We’re supposed to be laughing at a characters discomfort/misfortune/embarrassment; I don’t find it funny. I empathize to the extent that it’s painful to watch; I have to mute the sound and look away from the screen. Suffice it to say, I actually had to look away from the computer display towards the end of this chapter.
On a writing note, the transition from singing practice to the flashback of the conversation with Nikki could be handled better. Perhaps a paragraph break after she stops singing, or something. And I must say I don’t care for the device of revisiting an earlier conversation and revealing additional details. I realize it’s convenient to write, but feels like a cheat.
Also, after the detailed buildup of Marsh’s earlier “attempts”, and the early part of this one, her actual success seems oddly rushed. Sort of like a comprehensive description of the preparations for D-Day, followed by “and then we won the war.” I realize the author is probably trying to prevent his target audience (which is whom, exactly?) from perceiving this as outright pornography, but “In for a penny, in for a pound.”
Finally, while I realize Marsh is a bit distracted with preparing to sing a chorus of “I enjoy Being a Girl!”, you’d expect the silly thing to be able to keep track of the time. I certainly would. But then we might miss out on the debriefing by her sister…
I have split the paragraphs differently. Let’s see if that works a bit better.
which is why I didn’t do that. You may remember that I had skipped the conversation entirely. My intent all along was to deal with it in a flashback only.
Guilty, I suppose. I just didn’t feel that more detail would be helpful. I may have to consult with my expert on female masturbation, here.
Question: How old is Marsh that he can still be ‘grounded’?
🙂 Sort of like a comprehensive description of the preparations for D-Day, followed by “and then we won the war.” 🙂
Reminds me of something I put in my review.
>>“Why?! Why are you punishing me? I want to take my family out to a movie, and you’re saying that my eldest grandchild cannot come?”
BTW Grandma, along with the father that we saw a couple of chapters earlier, now tops my list of favorite characters in the book. I like her logic here; it is logic I try to follow as a parent. There was no reason why Grandma should have been punished, and she was correct in pointing that out. It should have been done privately, but that is another issue.
Marsh is 19 and still a dependent. Grounding is not very practical, for the reasons given in the story, but that doesn’t mean that the Steens wouldn’t try something as a way of expressing their displeasure.
OK. I don’t know the rules for grounding. I guess I would have expected to have the grandma say something about it.
>> I have split the paragraphs differently. Let’s see if that works a bit better.
Strangely enough, it does. Far be it from me to suggest a return to the artistically formatted text of some 60’s novels, but the original break had me backing up when I realized I’d missed a scene change. This doesn’t.
>> You may remember that I had skipped the conversation entirely. My intent all along was to deal with it in a flashback only.
(Reads back) Yup, you’re right – what I was remembering was the lead-in to “I think we need to have another private chat.” Still, the way it was phrased, and the absence of any mention of a chat thereafter, lead me to believe that WAS the talk; or that it would remain offstage. (Sigh) Enough of the way people act is a mystery to me that I always read like it’s a murder mystery. I guess I don’t like flashbacks because I feel as though information was unfairly withheld.
Of course, for that exact reason, take my comments with a grain of salt (GRIN).
I dislike flashbacks as well, altho they are sometimes necessary. I think the tension would have been heightened here if it had NOT been dealt with as a flashback, if we had heard the chat at the time, and had Marsh scared of someone seeing into his suitcase, etc.
I think that’s a good point. Marsh should at least probably mention that the conversation had happened in the next chapter, even without dealing with the contents. I have made a minor revision to chapter 71 accordingly.
Very possibly. I think that sometimes I reorder things to fit into the webnovel format, with each chapter being roughly the same size (1500-2400 words) and having a definite beginning and end. This is the kind of thing I am likely to revisit if and when I revise the story for a printed format. Whether that means I will get rid of the flashback, I don’t know yet.
>>Very possibly. I think that sometimes I reorder things to fit into the webnovel format, with each chapter being roughly the same size (1500-2400 words) and having a definite beginning and end.
I definitely think you do that. I also think that you often leave things the way they are, instead of going back and making changes… which you might tend to do for a regular book. It makes the overall story less good, obviously, but does make it easier on long time readers… I mean, imagine you continually saying ‘go back and re-read chapter four, I changed a couple of commas.” The commas might be very important, and lead to a very different understanding, but it would still be hard on us.
In this case the change is big enough to perhaps make it worth going back to. But as the issue is one I dislike anyway, I don’t really have a particular comment.
One issue, which I don’t recall if I have addressed before, is the entire issue of thought life. Speaking purely as a male I would say that the activity of this chapter is normally accompanied by a great weight of thought.
Any time frame on the next post?
Looks as though it won’t be until Saturday night or Sunday…
or Sunday night or Monday… 🙂
The longer it simmers, the better the chili. Chapter 79 will include complete circuit diagrams of the time machine, and reveal it’s effects are entirely mental. Marsh’s memories of being a boy were borrowed from an alternate timeline.
>>Marsh’s memories of being a boy were borrowed from an alternate timeline.
Hey, no fair stealing the plot from my book 🙂
Ahem. Who’s stealing plots from whose book, now?
🙂
You haven’t seen the latest version. I don’t think there is a shred of your plot left in my books. Just a story starter. I have been working really hard at taking everything out… changing names, family sizes.
And, let’s be honest, my characters are about as far from yours as it is possible to be, my whole ‘raison d’etre’ of the book is religious, my tensions are completely different, etc. I can’t say anything about the climax, but if the climaxes end up being the same, I will eat my proverbial hat.
Anytime you want to see it, just let me know.
>> Hey, no fair stealing the plot from my book
>> Ahem. Who’s stealing plots from whose book, now?
Boys, boys – No need to fight, there’s more than enough gender confusion for everyone. Worst case, send it all to me (GRIN) and I’ll referee.
Forgive me if this amuses me, given the way this chapter ends…
>>Forgive me if this amuses me, given the way this chapter ends…
Well, I can guarantee that that climax was different. There is no vibrator anywhere in the book. Instead I get my character betrothed in the twelth day, at the end of the second day. It is true the actual, ummm, climax takes several more chapters… but I think they get there faster than Marsh did, anyway 🙂
>>Worst case, send it all to me (GRIN) and I’ll referee.
So, worst case is that you have to read my books?? 🙁
… or Tuesday or Tuesday night….
???
Patience, please. I make no money at this and get almost no feedback (for all I can tell, I only have two regular readers), so other things wind up taking higher priority.
Only 2 readers? 🙁
Understand with the release timeline, but this is such a good read we get impatient – can you blame us? You are a victim of your own great writing.
I liked this chapter, I’m glad to see at least some of the conversation with Niki that was hinted at earlier.
Which of your book are you refering to Von? You have a lot of books there.
Ok, found it – Dreaming in the Light. Um, it is sooooooooooooooo similar to Take A Lemon – in fact you even call Jenny by Teen at one point.
Sorry Russ, about commenting on Von’s book here but he has not comment area.
>>>Ok, found it – Dreaming in the Light. Um, it is sooooooooooooooo similar to Take A Lemon – in fact you even call Jenny by Teen at one point.
Old version… newest version on my computer only.
That book started as a ‘if I was writing Russ’s book’,and I tried to parrallel his. But then I liked what I was doing, and changed it to my own plot. So that is how stuff like names get to be in there.
>>Patience, please. I make no money at this and get almost no feedback (for all I can tell, I only have two regular readers),
Hmm, I guess that would be Scott and me for the regular readers, and I was holding off on the feedback because you seemed to not be appreciating it as much as you used to (view deleting one of my comments).
However, your family should definitely be your first priority. My only frustration is not knowing when the next one is coming, so having to check back. Ditto with comments. There is a comment feature that emails people when a comment is made, it would be nice if you added that.
You’re a tease Von.
There is an RSS feed for posts, and each post also has an RSS feed for comments. That is by far the easiest way to know if there is an update.
>>There is an RSS feed for posts, and each post also has an RSS feed for comments. That is by far the easiest way to know if there is an update.
Color me clueless, but I have no idea how that helps me.
>>Sure, I really did want to see Princess and the Frog
As a female, I had no desire to see this film. Though I think it had something to do with not being 5 years old…
>>I think my biggest fear was finding that I remembered making out with her longtime boyfriend, Dirk. The very idea made me shudder.
I think this should be reworded – it’s a bit “definite”. Maybe “My biggest fear would be if I remembered…
>>and, too my surprise, too high for my new voice.
“to” my surprise.
>> She didn’t say anything, just stopped talking and looked at me, waiting for me to go on.
I think you should use the past perfect in this sequence… “she hadn’t said anything”, “she had looked at me”.
>>“Better yet, why don’t I lend you mine for the weekend?”
No.
No no no no no.
It is not done. Ever.
>>Guilty, I suppose. I just didn’t feel that more detail would be helpful. I may have to consult with my expert on female masturbation, here.
Whoops, I’m a bit late for the party (aheh, no pun intended).
>>>>“Better yet, why don’t I lend you mine for the weekend?”
No.
No no no no no.
It is not done. Ever.
Aha, the expert speaks. I wondered. (I wonder even more why this is such an issue in this book, and hope desperately that it will eventually be shown to have some relevance.)
I’ll read through and see if there is something else that could be suggested – however, a Questionable Content comic springs to mind…
Nice change to the chapter, it is quite subtle and works really well.
Yeah Russ, this works.
My face must have fallen at that point, because she’d grinned at me, and added, “There is a short cut, you know.” I’d perked up, eager to learn this ‘shortcut.’” <– maybe remove the space between "short" and "cut"?