51 Searching Questions
Vicky was back in my life! I almost felt like singing. And she had actively looked for me, even before I had realized how I felt about her. That meant that… in the original time line, she would have found me – me as Marshall, that is. And when I changed back, we’d probably have been dating again for a couple of months. That is, if I – that is, Marshall – hmm… this was confusing to talk about. I would come back to Marshallhood only in January, so who exactly would have been acting as me in the meantime? I’d really have to think of him in the third person. OK, Marshall, I told him in my mind, you’d better not blow this for me… us. Lucky bastard, he’d have two more months with Vicky than I would.
It was Saturday afternoon, and I hadn’t really thought things through. Vicky and I could have… gone to a movie together or something similar. Of course, maybe she had a date – she hadn’t been able to find me, after all, and it stood to reason that some guy on campus would have figured out how great she was. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant thought, but I didn’t have anything to offer her as an alternative. Dating had been an important part of my life for years, so if I were a girl, I’d – well, a girl who liked boys, I mean – I’d certainly go on a date with a guy I liked rather than hanging around with another girl, no matter how much I liked her. And face it, at present, that’s all I was – another girl to hang out with when there were no guys available. Yeah, changing back would fix this, and I’d just have to be patient.
In the meantime, I had a phone call to make; I had real news for Chad. Boy was he going to be surprised. I was in such a good mood, that I didn’t even mind the brief interrogation his mother put me through.
“Hey, Marsh, what’s up?” Chad greeted me when she finally handed over the phone.
“You are never going to guess whom I just found, Chad” I chortled.
“You’re kidding me! You found them? The guys who ran the experiment? They really exist?”
“No, no, no. I mean, yes they exist, but no I didn’t find them. But I did run into the people who gave the guy from the Messenger the information for the article, and they remembered me playing the guitar at the beginning of the school year.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup, and even better than that – I found Vicky! And she remembered me, too!”
“Um, who’s Vicky?”
“My last girlfriend. The girl I dated for six months up until a few weeks before break. And she did the experiment, too, and she not only remembered me, she had been looking for me!”
“Wow!”
“She wants me to change back so we can date again.” She hadn’t quite said that, but she had made her preferences known, in my opinion. She also didn’t believe that it was possible for me to do so, but I didn’t need to tell Chad that.
“I am floored, Marsh. So this is real. I mean, unless you’re bullshitting me now, and doing one hell of a job of it, I might add, this is real. This really happened.”
I was incredulous. “You mean, after all we’ve talked, you still didn’t believe me?”
“I’m not saying I didn’t believe you, Marsh; just that I wouldn’t have been totally surprised if it was an incredible joke. And I suppose it’s still possible – I just don’t think I can believe that any more.
“Well, good, Chad, ‘cause believe me, if this is a joke, it’s on me and it’s not funny at all.”
“Right. So… this girl – is she hot?”
I chuckled. “Oh, you have no idea, Chad.”
“Got pictures?”
“Sorry, pal. I left my pictures of her in my other timeline.”
He laughed. “Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. So you seem to be feeling pretty good, now.”
“I am over the moon. We’re back together – or rather, we will be when I change back.”
“Yeah… as far as that… how’s the search coming?”
I tensed a bit. It wasn’t going well, and Luke and Ian and Vicky had all said that it was impossible, but I refused to accept that. “I… well, I’ve been through the building twice, but there’s still some offices and labs I haven’t been able to check. And there’s probably something else I could try. I guess. And it was really a great idea of yours for me to start looking now, since it’s obviously going to take a while.
“Hey, you know, Chad,” I added quickly. “I have a lot of stuff to work on, here. So… it was really great talking with you, and… If you have any more ideas, let me know, OK? See you.”
I hung up before he could say anything, and then I wondered why I had. Was he really going to be able to say anything that would bring me down, now? Vicky was back in my life – I shouldn’t be down at all. Everybody just kept telling me there was no way back, but that just couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.
It didn’t take me long after I hung up, though, before my exuberance over reconnecting with Vicky wiped out the bad feelings. It would be different this time, I promised myself. This might even work out really well for us. Without the physical attraction element, we’d have to connect on a deeper level, and when I changed back – well, then we’d be able to add the physical on top of everything else. Maybe now we’d be able to keep our relationship going. The fact that she had gone looking for me was just incredible.
My mood must have been really obvious, as Lee Ann commented on it as we walked to dinner.
“Did something really good happen today, Marsh? Maybe… Jeremy called?”
I laughed. “No, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t spoken with in a while, and I realized how much I had missed her. I think we’re going to start spending some time together.”
“Oh, that’s great! Do I know her?”
Did she? I had no idea, but Vicky had known about Lee Ann and my interest in her, and it hadn’t occurred to me to wonder how.
“Vicky Gordon,” I told her.
Lee Ann shook her head. “No, the name’s not familiar. Who is she?”
Now how was I supposed to answer that one?
“Just a girl I met last year, and we hung out for a while, and then sort of drifted apart.” I mean, technically that was true, but it felt like a lie, and I couldn’t exactly tell the full truth.
“What’s wrong?” Lee Ann asked, evidently picking up on something.
“Nothing is wrong!” I almost snapped. Then I caught myself and repeated in a friendlier tone, “Nothing is wrong.”
She gave me a considering look, but only said, “OK…”
That made twice in the past hour that I had been abrupt with a close friend, and I wasn’t quite sure why. It must be the pressure. Everybody kept telling me that I was stuck. Why did they have to do that? Lee Ann was supposed to be comforting me, making me feel better. Isn’t that what friends do? And Chad was supposed to be my idea guy; he should have shown me an easy way to find this… Professor Davis guy.
Lee Ann invited me to go out with the girls again that night after dinner, but I told her I had to study; I had an idea I wanted to follow. Since I had a name, maybe some kind of internet search would help? That seemed a much better use of my time just now. If I had mentioned the fact that Vicky had known his name to Chad, maybe he would have suggested something. I almost called him back, but decided that this was something I could do on my own.
The university web site was no real help. It showed a Professor Morton Davis in the Physics department, but Vicky had claimed that he was the wrong one. Maybe I could verify that.
I did a search for articles by Morton Davis, and got totally confused. All I found were titles and abstracts, and they were heavy in physics jargon and meant nothing to me. Could Dynamical Computations of a Non-Classical Integral have something to do with time travel? How was I supposed to tell? Jay would have been able to tell me for sure, but asking him was totally out of the question – he’d just declare that he wasn’t going to give credence to my fantasies. And it wasn’t as if I could prove it to him; he just didn’t know me well enough to tell that something was wrong.
I wasn’t getting very far and it was really annoying me. Stupid professors! Aren’t they supposed to be communicating something to the rest of us? Why do they have to make it so hard?
I searched next for any combination of “Piques” and “Physics” and “Davis” and came up totally empty of references that were not to the same Morton Davis I already knew about. If there was another Professor Davis in the department, shouldn’t he have published something? How could they possibly have covered all of this up? How could the administration have hacked Google?
The whole thing was proving to be a massive waste of time, and I angrily pushed myself away from the keyboard. At least when I searched the building I knew that he either had to be in a room or not. How was I supposed to find somebody who might not even exist?
I’v been following this story from the beginning and with every new page it becomes better and better, to the author keep on writing more of this i would really much appreciate it if i could see where this ends up
Marsh: “Stupid professors! Why do they have to make it so hard?”
Homer Simpson: “Stupid TV (bangs on cabinet) Be more funny!”
I suppose you’re trying to show the truly oceanic depth of Marsh’s denial, but in fact it seems like he’s getting dumber as the chapter progresses. By the end he’s down a good 40 IQ points. Unintentional? A side effect of time-travel induced genetic manipulation?
scotts13 its a story and i dont think marsh has Dumbed down at all
Certainly not my intent – what makes you say that?
>>“No, no, no. I mean, yes they exist, and no I didn’t find them
…but no, I didn’t find them.
I like some of the changes, a lot.
Overall I agree with Scott, but, ironically, not so much in this particular chapter. He is being very irrational here, but in this particular case the irrationality seems more successfully linked to his denial. The very last line needs to be followed up on. It is the first time Marsh has really confronted this, and needs to go somewhere.
I am hoping that, once the ‘I am having my period and so am just mad at everybody’, he will be able to do some science follow up. I love the technobabble.
Definitely getting better. Would love to see you apply some of this newfound skill back to a few chapters in the beginning.
And somebody needs to call his sister!
>>Lee Ann invited me to go out with the girls again that night after dinner, but I had another idea.
… but I told her I had to study. I had another idea….
“Certainly not my intent – what makes you say that?”
I think you’ll have to agree that Marsh has never come off as the sharpest tool in the shed. I haven’t known if this was intentional, but unintelligent protagonists don’t sit well with me. In this case, s/he’s finally beginning to think and act in a way I can relate to – and he blows it. Instead of treating each revelation as a data point, he complains about the source. Professors are hard to find? They’re stupid. People keep telling him he’s stuck? He complains, not about the situation, but that they keep TELLING him about it. It’s Chad’s fault for not thinking up an easy way to find Professor Davis.
It’s almost like an actor complaining the rest of the cast isn’t pulling their weight. Uh, wait a minute…
Well, I’m certainly not trying to write Marsh as unintelligent, and I would appreciate your pointing out examples. In this chapter, though, the intent is not unintelligence, but lack of familiarity with premenstrual emotional changes. Marsh doesn’t realize that s/he has PMS right now, and has never learned to deal with it.
Of course, the challenge is to make Marsh focus on the emotion of the situation, and not become a hyper-rational robot, without coming off as dumb. What conclusions do you believe s/he has missed?
>>Well, I’m certainly not trying to write Marsh as unintelligent,
ROTFL
No, just not 100% self aware…
Chuckle, chuckle
(Scott, Russ and I have been having this conversation for chapters and chapters and chapters. But just ignore me, I am a spammer and a hacker.)
>>Marsh doesn’t realize that s/he has PMS right now, and has never learned to deal with it.
Huh. I got the whole PMS thing, but I didn’t see this as that. I saw this as a desperate form of denial/bargining. It is one reason why I like the change from the first version, where now he is beginning to throw a wider net, researching on the internet, etc.
What I have always seen as dumb is his idea that it would be ‘easy’. That he could just waltz in and get it done. I am going to really like it if he starts to ‘go to work’ on the issue, and study it, etc. I would like to see him go to half price books and buy a dozen sci-fi books on time travel, and go to the meetings and start leading the change to be turned back.
I would also like to see him start to think about ways to pressure the administration from the other side, threaten to go public, etc.
(Oh, BTW. Chad really missed a cog here. If Marsh is joking him, this chapter did nothing to help. Chad’s only evidence that someone remembers the old Marshal is… Marsh herself. If he even thinks that Marsh might be lying then, well, she might by just as easily lying about this too. She could even have roped Vicki in on the whole thing. I am not so impressed as Chad is.)
>> (Oh, BTW. Chad really missed a cog here. If Marsh is joking him, this chapter did nothing to help. Chad’s only evidence that someone remembers the old Marshal is… Marsh herself. If he even thinks that Marsh might be lying then, well, she might by just as easily lying about this too. She could even have roped Vicki in on the whole thing. I am not so impressed as Chad is.)
Ah, you caught that. Yes, clearly this was only truly proof that Marsh wasn’t fooling hirself; Chad is of necessity operating on the assumption that Marsh would not go to such elaborate lengths. Hence his comment:
Yes, referring to an early exchange between us, then, this doesn’t suffice. My method would have worked better… altho it would have played hash with your plot.
I am seriously tempted to do a take off, and go through all seven stages of grief. I think it would be cool.
Oh, and this:
>> Jay would have been able to tell me for sure, but asking him was totally out of the question.
Strikes me as a bit stale. When one is merely going along with a part, sure, protecting the privacy is paramount (possibly). But when faced with the earth shaking possibility of being stuck, then things that were ‘out of the question’ (such as going to Jay and fessing up, with Vicki) become less so. I am a nurse, and women that are normally very modest become much less so when having a heart attack or a baby.
Not a question of modesty. I have expanded it to explain.
>>was only truly proof that Marsh wasn’t fooling hirself;
Did Marsh ever think that?
>> Chad is of necessity operating on the assumption that Marsh would not go to such elaborate lengths.
I don’t get it. If Chad doesnt’ believe Marsh, or didn’t, how does this help? If his almost sister suddenly wants him (for some unknown reason) to believe that she used to be a boy in another timeline, then how does this phone call change anything? The original tale was so huge that adding details hardly seems to matter.
Don’t get me wrong, I like it. I just dont’ think it changes anything for Chad… once he thinks about it. I would like to know if Chad and Tina are talking. In some ways she seems more convinced.
“Well, I’m certainly not trying to write Marsh as unintelligent, and I would appreciate your pointing out examples. In this chapter, though, the intent is not unintelligence, but lack of familiarity with premenstrual emotional changes. Marsh doesn’t realize that s/he has PMS right now, and has never learned to deal with it.”
I’m not buying it. Yes, I get the whole PMS thing, as clearly Marsh does not – but from my observation that tends to make one emotional, not delusional. As a matter of fact, I…! Um.
Actually, I’m going to suspend my disbelief and try to keep quiet a while. Marsh, for whatever reason, thinks and behaves in a manner incomprehensible to me. It may be me; I’ve never been one to let my hormones or emotions rule my intellect. In Marsh’s position, I’d have been researching the theory and practice of time travel from day one, and had a descriptive flowchart on the wall before bed. If you’ll recall, I have problems with the behaviour of ANOTHER TG protagonist whose exploits we both follow.
So I will (try) to wait quietly while the author makes it all clear. Look on the bright side – I’ve become engaged enough in the story to start complaining again.
wimp 🙂
But then I love the whole ‘comment’ thing.
>>emotional, not delusional.
Emotional and irrational, yes. I like the bit about blaming the professor. But that doesn’t excuse the days and days of ‘it will be easy, I will just waltz in after my time for Tina is up and they will snap their finger and fix me.”
I like the flowchart idea. Not what I would do, but it is one good reaction. I am hoping that Marsh will move on and start a frantic search for ‘how’ and not just the ‘who’.
Hey, if you all are liking the book, you should go over to webfiction guide and rate it. You can even read my review 🙂
>>I would like to see him go to half price books and buy a dozen sci-fi books on time travel, and go to the meetings and start leading the change to be turned back.
>>If you’ll recall, I have problems with the behaviour of ANOTHER TG protagonist whose exploits we both follow.
I was about to say that it would be really… ironic? If we all complained about Ash’s lack of proactivity and then this character doesn’t get proactive.
However, at least Marsh is doing something, however little. I just really think it’s about time she started to acknowledge the gravity of the situation.
If I were Marsh and had PMS, I’d have broken down and cried and would currently be a heap of weeping mess on my bed.