Take a Lemon

This time, it was Tina who answered.

“Teen, I’m really sorry again,” I told her, as I walked from rehearsal, back to my dorm. “I shouldn’t have been questioning you. It’s just that there is so much more that is different now than before.

“Are you saying that – as a boy – you appreciate how much work girls do to make themselves beautiful?”

“Absolutely, once I – ” I coughed, stopping myself from saying, “change back to a boy.” That was definitely not something I was going to raise with her again, at least not now. I still had a couple of months before that would even be an issue. I amended it to, “… once I saw for myself what’s involved.”

“And are you saying that – as a girl – you’re going to listen to me when I tell you how things are supposed to work? And not leave your purse behind and not argue about makeup?”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I have to. Or at least,” I suggested with a small laugh, “I’ll wait until I understand a bit more before arguing with you.”

“OK, great. Now tell me why you were crying.”

“Oh. Um. Alvin threatened to kick me out of the show.”

“What?!”

“He didn’t mean it! Jared and I were having… issues.” I knew I wasn’t telling this properly, and so did my sister.

“Stop. Back up. Who’s Jared?”

So I backed up. I explained about Jared playing Giles and how Alvin had told us to get better acquainted. I explained the disastrous meeting at the Grill. At this point, Tina interrupted.

“He asked you for a hook up? You?”

“Um, yeah.”

“I’m not sure whether to laugh or to be outraged on your behalf. What a jerk! Is that what you call, ‘having issues’?”

“Pretty much.”

“And when did this happen?”

I sighed. “Thursday afternoon, after my last class.”

“Thursday? But you and I talked just a couple of days ago! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ouch. “Um… I’m still not all that comfortable, talking to you about… you know… sex.”

“Marsh!” she whined. “You need –.” Her voice suddenly took on a cutesy, taunting tone.” You don’t really want me completely innocent and uninformed when boys come on to me, do you?”

“Um…” I really hadn’t thought about that.

“Don’t you want me to know what’s going on? So I can say no when a boy asks me to do something I don’t want to do?” Then she snickered. “And say yes when I do?”

“Um… “

“Marsh, I’m kidding. You dated a boy for two years and still wouldn’t sleep with him. I’m taking you as my model. I figure a boy needs to be committed to me for at least that long first, right?”

I released a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. She was actually modeling herself on Marsha, not me, a point that I was not going to raise. But it made me wonder. I had never had a discussion like this with my Tina. What if she had taken my frequent sexual relationships as her model? I might well have contributed to the corruption of my own sister!

“So this guy propositioned you. How does that get you almost kicked out of the show?”

“Well, we were supposed to work together, you know, as a couple in love – and we just sort of snapped at each other, instead. Finally, the director had just had enough.” I described Alvin’s “trick” and how Jared and I had turned on him together and spoken up for each other, and then made up. Then with a slight unease in my belly, I admitted that after all that, we’d finally managed to kiss on stage.

“My head’s spinning here, Marsh! So your director yelled at you and got you to make up. That’s pretty cool. So… how was the kiss?”

“It was nothing, which is fine.”

“Aww… your first time kissing a boy and it was nothing? How disappointing.”

“Tina!” I exclaimed in outrage. Then I saw the humor in it and started laughing, and so did she. “I’ll bet he’d be really disappointed to hear that!” I snickered.

“Serves him right, the jerk.” Tina added. “If my boyfriend suggested something like that, I’d sic Daddy on him.”

“Boyfriend? Wait. When did this happen?”

“Well you know, if you spoke to me more than once a week, you’d be up to date with things, Marsh.”

I acknowledged the rebuke. “I promise I’ll be better, Teen.” I still wasn’t crazy about the idea of Tina having a boyfriend, but with everything else I was dealing with, it just didn’t seem worth making anything out of it. After all, Dad was OK with it. Or rather, I reminded myself, ‘Daddy’ was OK with it.

So I forced myself to be the “good sister” and asked, “So tell me about him.”

“Do you really want to know?”

Not really “Of course I do, Teen! Shouldn’t I be taking an interest in what’s going on in your life? Isn’t that what Marsha would do?”

“Well, Danny bought me a charm bracelet, and we’ve been sort of spending all our lunches together, and he came over to do homework with me a couple of nights last week…”

“Homework?”

“Yes, Marsh. All we did was homework.”

Yeah, I knew that trick. I’d done that trick. Maddy and I had started with homework at the kitchen table. After her parents had gotten comfortable with me, we’d found excuses to do some additional work in her bedroom, “so that we didn’t annoy her little brother,” which had let to quite a bit more. Maybe I could make up for whatever bad influences I’d had by warning Tina. Or maybe I should warn Mom and Dad? I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do. Playing the ‘big sister’ when I remembered being Tina’s big brother was turning out to be a lot more complicated that I had anticipated.

I finally settled for, “Well, just watch yourself. Boys tend to be a bit aggressive about pushing for the physical, and girls often just go along with them. And I really ought to know.”

“’Go along,’ Marsh? I saw you with Dirk, remember? You weren’t just ‘going along.’”

I forced myself not to react to the mental image that had suddenly popped into my head. “That’s not the point, Teen! Just… Oh, just be careful, OK? Don’t let Danny pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do.”

“But I’m soooo innocent, Marsh. Don’t you want to tell me all about the things he might want me to do…?”

I finally figured out that she was trying to push my buttons – and succeeding. So with a smile, I was able to say, “Some other time, Teen.”

“OK. You know, this wasn’t too bad a chat, Marsh. You’re getting better. Oh – and sorry about yelling at you before, but…”

“Yeah, I know. Always carry the purse and stop complaining about make up, right?”

“Right.”

“Will do – can you see if Mom is around? I need to talk to her, too.”

“Really? Well, we’ll make a girl out of you yet, Marsh! I’ll go get Mom.”

Make a girl out of me, huh? I sure hope not. But I didn’t have all that much time to worry about it, since Mom picked up the phone fairly quickly.

“Hello, Marsh,” she said, pleasantly. “How is the play going?”

“Not bad,” I told her. I quickly repeated much of what I had told Tina, although I downplayed the propositioning thing, telling her only that Jared and I had started off on the wrong foot.

“So Alvin came through again, I see,” she commented. “I can see why you keep doing his shows.”

I felt like banging my head against a wall. Of course Mom had known about Marsha’s earlier plays. I had been so worried about not telling her things I didn’t want to share that I had completely overlooked how much I could have found out from her.

“And of course, Nikki being part of them works out nicely for me as well,” I ventured, guessing that Marsha would have mentioned her.

“Yes, although I suppose you won’t be helping with costumes on this one? Because you have such a large role?”

“I… hadn’t actually thought about it. I’ll ask Nikki,” I didn’t have the skills she would have expected from Marsha, but she knew that. Given how much I owed her, it was the least I could do.

“And you’re happy with your social life?” Mom asked next.

“I told you, Mom. I don’t have time to date right now. I’ve got more sewing than I can handle, and the play is taking up a lot of my time, and I do have to pay a lot of attention to my classes. But my roommates are great, and Nikki and I talk a lot. I’m not complaining right now.” And I’m definitely not going to admit to the whole asexual thing – at least not now.

“OK, Marsh. Stay in touch, OK? Oh, here’s your father.”

“Hi, Princess!” he said. Now I was at a loss. I had had the one real conversation with Dad. Daddy. Why couldn’t I get that right? But I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to speak with him in general.

“Hi, Daddy,” I managed. “How are you?”

Fortunately, he wasn’t in a talkative mood. “Much the same. Go to work, come home, miss my little girl. Mom says you’re doing fine. Take care, OK?”

“You, too, Daddy.”

And that was it. He just hung up. I had managed to speak with my entire family and not get anybody mad at me. My relationship with Tina was getting better, if a bit weird, and I was actually able to have a decent conversation with Mom, and be reasonably honest throughout. For me, now, that was quite an accomplishment.