14: A Lonely voice

We went home, and I showed Mom, the twins, and Mrs Jones my ring, but my heart was sinking, and I soon excused myself and went to my room, tearing off my clothes and crying.

“Bobbi?” Jenny said, “What’s wrong?” She asked, coming and sitting on the bed next to me.

“Oh, Jens. What if I can’t stay? Yesterday I was desperate to get back, but today, after last night…” I broke  down again, and Jenny came and hugged me. “Don’t  you understand, I need to work hard, still, to get your Roberta back. I can’t take her place, even if I like it. And I am having to go to school, and act like her. How can I do that? You guys have been great, but anyone that knows me will know in seconds that I am not Roberta, and even not  a girl. I mean, you saw, I walked into the boys room at the mall!”

She giggled, and I said, “It’s not funny! How do you think my roommates will react if they find out there is a boy in their room, watching them change and all?”

“But, you said you’re a girl now.”

“Well, you know that, and I know that, but suppose you were in a dorm room… they will think I am some pervert or something. How would you react if one of  your roommates told you that they used to be a boy? And I have to go to classes and all…”

“And the play,” she said, seriously.

“What play?”

“The Flowerpot…”

“What? I am in The Flowerpot? I can’t do that! I can’t act as a girl!” Jenny giggled and I glared at her, “You know what I mean. What part do I have?”

“The lead.”

“What?” I screamed, just as Caleb walked in, his eyes wide but not glancing away this time from my breasts. “Did you hear that?” I said, “I am in a play at school. I am the lead! I even have to kiss some boy!”

“Well, don’t.” He said, sitting down.

“What?” I said.

“Just tell them you won’t do it.”

“But Caleb,” said Jenny, “How can that work? She is supposed to be hiding, not acting all different.”

“Well,” he said, taking my hand and fingering my ring, “this might make it easier. Just tell them your fiance doesn’t want you kissing other boys. Let them deal with me. Just blame me.”

“Oh, well, but still. I can’t do this. I have two roommates that I know nothing about. I have dozens of facebook friends I don’t know. People all over the campus will be greeting me and I will look like and idiot not knowing their name, and I walked into the men’s room today!”

The moron grinned. Why did they think this was funny? It wasn’t funny! I cried, again. All I had done since becoming a girl was cry, embarrass everyone, get mad at anyone… and get engaged to a boy I had to give up to some girl I didn’t know and didn’t like.

“Well, Bobbi, we will just have to help you. I can come and stay over the weekends, and I bet Jenny can come during the week. I will pay her train fare. And we can talk to your Dad tonight. I am sure he has other ideas.”

“I need to talk to you about something else,” He said. “In some ways this arrest is really going to help us. I got on the internet when you left, and absolutely everyone is talking about. And… what we worried about is true. The students and their families, the ones they were able to find, have also been taken, the internet thinks to somewhere in Colorado. So that makes it all the more important that you do a good job of pretending to be ‘our’ Roberta.”

“But how?”

“Well, for one thing Jenny and I will quiz you. We knew Roberta rather well and can tell you, and quiz you, about her life.”

—

“I have another idea, as well,” Father said, at dinner. I was wearing one of my new outfits, but I got no joy out of it, altho everyone else oohed and aahed. I did still enjoy the ring tho, and looked at it every few seconds. “I think I will be able to pull it off, but I won’t tell you what it is until I can. Caleb, you are working on the scientific aspect, so we will leave this part to Jenny. Bobbi, for the next week, you are in basic training, learning how to be Roberta.”

“Ok, Dad,  but I really don’t think I can pull it off.”

“Well, give it your best effort. It is all we can ask. What are your most worried about?”

“My roommates!”

“OK, Jenny will help you with that. And, as you have said, Facebook will really help. I can’t stand the thing, but it should help here. What next, Bobbi,  are you worried about any of the classes?”

“Well, voice class.”

“That is a problem. Did you not sing when you were a boy?”

“Oh, I sang. We… my family and Caleb and even his parents… we loved to sing. But I was a bass. I don’t even know what part I sing now.”

“Alto!” Said Jenny, “you have a beautiful alto voice. Dad, can we sing?”

“Dishes first,” Dad said, “then we can sing.”

We all did the dishes quickly. I had loved to sing, and was desperate to see if I could still do so.

“What shall we sing first?” Asked Dad, “Perhaps a few hymns? The harmony is fairly simple in hymns. Perhaps, ”Immortal, Invisible?“

“Sure,” I said, “I love that hymn.”

Mom sat down at the piano, gave us our introduction, and we began. It was a truly glorious hymn, and we sang it all the way through. The twins sang with gusto, and I enjoyed it but…

“Well, that was fine, Bobbi,” Dad said, “But it wasn’t alto.”

“No,” I said, “I thought I should do the soprano, at least to warm up.”

“OK. But I want you to try the alto this time.”

We started again, and he waved us off after two measures. “What’s up, Bobbi?”

“I don’t know the alto,” I whined, “I can’t even find my first note. When I was the bass it was easy. This song has a beautiful bass part.”

“Yes, it does,” Dad said, “Perhaps I shouldn’t have started with this one. But we are here now. Gloria, give Bobbi her note. In fact, the rest of us know our parts well enough. Just play the alto.”

Well, she did, and I tried. My voice would do it easily enough. It was a fine voice and I loved using it. I was looking forward to singing. But I just couldn’t find the notes.

“Well,” Dad said, after watching me, “that is definitely an area we need to work on. Jenny and Caleb are both good singers, and Gloria plays. I think that you need to do at least a couple of hours a day on this. But for right now, just sing whatever you are comfortable with. What would you like to sing next?”

Jenny and Caleb both walked me up to my room. “Sorry, Bobbi,” Caleb said.

“Oh, don’t be,” I said. “It’s just a matter of work. I’m not afraid of work. Can  you stay for a while and talk?” I asked Caleb.

“Sure.” He said.

“I’ll leave,” Jenny said.

“No need, Jens,” I said, “I need you to help with this. Just go and get read for bed and come back.”

“OK, Bobbi,” she said, and dashed off.

“You’re a great sister,” Caleb said, kissing me.

“Well, thank you,” I said, getting undressed. “Now, we have to go through… well, we have to figure out what we have to go through.”

We got to the bathroom, where Jenny, who had been frantically brushing her teeth, relaxed.

“You mean, make kind of a checklist for your training?”

“Exactly. We only have one week before break is over, and I have a lot to learn in that week.”

Jenny left so Caleb peed. As I watched him in the mirror I envied him getting to stand up. It was one thing that I really missed from being a boy… always having to drop everything and then pull it up was getting annoying. I don’t think my being there helped him go, tho, and I grinned.  Since that first time at the rehearsal I hadn’t had any problems, which was a good thing. Girls seemed to have extraordinarily small bladders, and I had to pee all the time.

“When  you’re done,” I said, and he stopped trying and closed himself back up, letting me through. “You’ll get used to it, I’m sure,” I said to him.

“Guys don’t…” He said, and then chuckled, “You are mean. You know what the guy rules are… you were one. Stand as far away from anyone else as possible, never look, never talk…”

“And never sit down in public if you can possibly avoid it,” I said, pulling my panties back up and flushing. “Well, let me tell you, it is very different being a girl. Of course, we have more to do in the restroom anyway, what with pads and all.”

He blushed, “You haven’t…”

’No, not yet, thankfully. Jenny,“ I asked her, as she had just come back in, ”when is my period?“

She looked at me with mouth wide open, her eyes flickering toward Caleb.

“What? He is my fiance, he needs to know.”

“I… ummm… we… Can I talk to you alone for a second?”

Caleb laughed, “I  will go back to the room and leave you two alone to your girl talk.”

“What’s up, Jens?”

“Bobbi! Don’t you know…? Well, you probably don’t. Girls, often, when the live together, are on about the same cycle. So…”

I laughed, “Well, you didn’t have to tell him that. Just tell me when I am due, or whatever  you call it.”

“Well, about Wednesday. You should pay attention on Monday and  Tuesday.”

“Pay attention to what?” I asked, opening the door and heading back to my room.

“Well,” she said, looking nervous, “you often… Roberta often…” She stopped, staring at Caleb.

“Go ahead,” I said, “I need for him to hear this.”

“Really?” She said, flopping down on the bed, a grin on her face, “I feel like I am violating some unwritten rule of girldom.”

“Really,” I said, “learning to be a girl is going to be tough, and I need as much help as I can get.”

So my sister launched into graphic detail on everything I was going to be experiencing. It was really a funny sight, her sitting there in her fuzzy white and pink pajamas with bunnies all over them, going on and on about discharge, and cramps, and how I could be really snippy.

“We have them at the same time, usually,” she said, blushing a bit, “and so sometimes the two of us really go at it.”

I had booted up facebook while she was talking, and my wall was just bursting.

“Are you always at the same time?” Caleb asked. He had the notebook and had been writing furiously,

“Well, not always,” Jenny said, “because I am still pretty irregular.”

“So, when did you say she should start getting ’snippy’?”

Jenny looked at me, “Well, I actually thought…”

“Ah,” said Caleb, writing, “So several days ahead of time?”

Caleb was so cute. He really loved organizing things and writing them all down. And now the Jenny had gotten over her fear of him finding out, she was having fun telling him all about it.

“What are you doing, Bobbi?” Jenny asked.

“Facebook. You have got to get a page, Caleb.”

“Must I?” He asked.

“Yeah. You can help me on it.”

“Well, if I have to. So, what other classes are worrying you?”