33 Harsh words

Mrs Davis came up front where I was sitting, sewing yet another patch on my husbands jeans. “Well, I think this is truly a first,” she said, surveying my just bulging belly. We have hundreds of girls each year that are pregnant, but I think that this is the first time that one of of our workers has been so. We usually have us older ladies.“

“Well, I am so glad to help, and at least in one way I can relate to these girls.” I answered.

“It is hard. So many of them are even older than you, yet you are thrilled with your child, and they despise theirs.” She answerd.

I looked up, “A hard session?” I  asked.

“Yes. She called her baby a ‘fetus’ the whole time. I almost cried. She despised me and everything I stood for.”

“Well, pray for her,” I said, turning my eyes back to my sewing to avoid the pain in hers, “you can always pray.”

“Thank you,  yes, I can always pray,” she said, and went to the back.

Just after she did a girl came in, a young girl, maybe Jennys age, accompanied by a friend, and they were holding each others hands tightly. They came  up to me, “Is this, is this where I can get an abortion?” The girl asked.

“Are you pregnant?” I asked.

“I… I don’t know. My boyfriend and I we… and then my period didn’t come.”

“Come back here,” I said, “ and we will start by seeing if you are pregnant. Where is your mother?”

“Oh, I couldn’t tell her, she would never understand.”

“Silly girl,” I said, “she was young and foolish once too, you know. She knows all about it. How do you think she got you?”

The girl looked at me, wide eyed. Then her eyes drifted to my midsection, and I said, “Yes, I am pregnant. We hope to call the baby ‘Joseph’ if it is a boy, and we will call it ”Jennifer’, after my sister, if it is a girl. I am hoping it is a boy, for my husband,“ I said, ”now, I need you to wipe, and then pee in this cup. Come, you’re safe here, your friend doesn’t have to watch you pee does she?“ I asked, taking the other girls hand.

’I am so glad she has a friend,“ I said, ”some girls don’t have that. Having a baby is much easier if you have a good friend. Does the babies father know  you are here?“

“Oh, no! She was afraid to tell him.”

“Do you think maybe he would like to know? About his baby, I mean?”

The girls eyes widenened at my continual use of teh word, ‘baby’, but I was stroking my own stomach at the same time and that seemed to hypnotize her. “I know my husband certainly wanted to know when I got pregant. Is he that bad a boy, that he would beat her for getting pregant?”

“Oh, no! He is a very nice boy and all. It is just that, they didn’t really mean to…”

“Of course. But he did do, and  he should know what he did, so he can help take care of the baby, even starting now. Mothers neeed…”

The girl emerged, red faced, with the bottle. “Ah, good,” I said, “come over here.”

They watched with shock as I openeed the bottle and dipped the test stick into it.

“There,” I said, “we shoudl know in a minute whether or not you have a baby.”

The girls watched, wide eyed, as the stick sat there, unchanging.

“So, he’s a nice boy?”  I asked. “The father of the baby?”

“Charles, oh yes…” the girl said.

“Then tell him. That’s my advice,” I said, picking up the stick and throwing it away. “Tell him that you aren’t pregnant, but that you could have been. And since you two are having sex, you should tell your parents and  move in with him. Sex is a responsible act, be responsible about it. That’s my advice,” I said, opening the door to Mrs. Davis’ office, “And I am sure that Mrs Davis will have more. Go on in, girls.”

I liked this job.

“Pregnant, eh?” He said, and I jumped.

I felt like a watermellon, pushing the cart around the store. My life was wonderful. My sewing business had taken off, I was volunteering every morning at the crisis pregnancy center as well as being an organizer for the Gabriel project. Six months of illness, having to learn to sleep differently, breast changes… but six months without Jervis.

“Yes,” I said, turning to him. “As if it was any of your business.”

He was dressed, oddly enough, as a construction worker, including the bright yellow helmet

“Well, Robert, maybe it is.”

My breath came fast and hard, and I wanted to throw up. “I don’t have any idea what you are talking about.”

“Robert Michael Smith. Born October tenth, Nineteen ninety five. Height, six foot two… you lost quite a bit of that, weight one hundred and seventy five pounds… you lost that too, but it looks like you have put some back… best freind… family… I have quite a bit of information on you, Robert.”

And if you want to stay ‘Roberta’, I am the only person who can help you.“

“You, help?”

“Yes. The people I am with need the information you have. But it has become difficult to get it in the normal way…”

“you mean by kidnapping people?”

“Such harsh words,” he said.

“Anyway, I will never, ever help you,” I said.

Just then a man came up, “Mrs. Jones,” he said, “I am from your husband. Is this individual bothering you?

“I am a Federal Agent,” Jervis said, pulling his badge out from his pocket. But before he could finish the other man’s fist shot out and took the man in the jaw, crashing him against an enourmous pile of cans and sending both to the floor.

“You can go now, ma’am, the man said, ”he won’t be bothering you anymore.“

But as I hurried away the look in Jeremies face warned me that I had not seen the last of him.

“Caleb?”

“Yes dear?”

We sat by the fire, and I was rubbing his poor feet. He had had an outside job today, and they had gotten all cold.

“I saw Jervis today.”

“I heard. Our people took care of him.”

“Caleb?”

“Yes dear?”

“What is happening with the experiment?”

“Well, it is going well.”

“How well, dear?”

“Very well.”

“So… so when will I have to change?”

“Not until after you have the baby.”

I cried, quietly, and kept rubbing his feet.

“What actually happened?”

“Well, it is very difficult to explain. You see, there are an infitite number of possible worlds…”

“Never mind, dear. Are you hungry, would you like something?”